Who Failed Who?
Who failed who?
This is the only pic I got today as Selena faced dental surgery. Her anxiety on high alert when the time came for sedation. She kicked, screamed and gave a massive fight in an effort to not let any procedure happen to her today. 2 grown men, trained professionals, sat on the floor traumatized by the hard fight my daughter gave them. Saying things like they’ve never seen this before.
Welcome to my world.
Barbaric treatments to cure paediatric cancer can cause some kids like mine PTSD and severe anxiety. Post treatment some kids develop serious mental harm after having experienced too many procedures like pokes requiring them to be held down against their will. Coming into Sick Kids and facing surgery was a huge trigger for Selena today. We had a plan , Selena was coached, she had child life and all the tools to be calm “in theory”. But her fears run so deep all the “tools” set in place failed. I carried her into the OR , held her in my arms until she went to sleep and promised her all will be okay. 2 hours later we were reunited as promised mommy was the first thing she saw when she woke. I go through these things all the time. ALL THE TIME. Selena is now terrified of many things.
I think the system fails the kids mentally when they experience a critical illness. I think they are great at dealing with the illness at hand but do nothing great for the developing mind. The protocols for cancer treatment are outdated and causing far more damage then some even fully grasp. Today I feel we failed Selena. Showing her force over will to simply get her to the OR. But the team today like me on the daily felt overwhelmed and frustrated by Selena’s force and now all that’s left is sadness and questions. Selena thank G-D is doing well I have not left her side and ya will spoil her because I have mom guilt. Serious terrible mom guilt.. #childhoodcancerawarness #mentalhealth
PS Unless you have had to walk in these shoes don’t judge you have no idea what this is like ??